On Friday, I was driving down Western Avenue, minding my own business, when the email app on my Galaxy Tab chimed.
“Oh good!”, I thought, “My penis pump has finally shipped!”
Since I couldn’t actually read the email, it was just an assumption. Obviously, I would need to verify the contents of the correspondence. Being a responsible citizen of the great state of Cascadia, I didn’t want to read my tablet while driving, so I pulled into the nearest public parking space.
About 15 seconds after parking, before I could even get my tablet unmounted, I received a knock on
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