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Viva Obamacare!

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Today, I became a socialist.

That’s right, on this fine day, I got out of bed, walked over to my desk, fired up my computer, and placed the round, pink, firm nipple of the nanny state directly into my mouth … at which point, I began sucking.

Oh my. I never knew that milk could taste so sweet.

Why, oh why, did I wait so long? Why did I deprive myself for all these years?

You see, before this week, I’d never asked the government for anything. At least not directly. Sure, I’ve used public streets, I’ve benefitted from the

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